Round 3 Brings Bleeding. Hmmmm Glamor Girls!

CC is bleeding out of both ends of her body today.

Under our ever-growing list of, What They Don’t Tell You Might Happen, is the lovely world of constipation and hemorrhoids. With the accumulation of Chemo Cocktails and other prescription drugs comes constipation. And with constipation comes hemorrhoids. And with hemorrhoids comes bleeding. And pain. CC hadn’t dealt with the likes of this since her last pregnancy 21 years ago—when a painful bleeding butt seemed worth it. Now it’s just a cruel insult.

Hey! Eyes up here, please! Thank you. Now, remember back after Chemo Round One when the nose bleeds started? The Chemo drugs have a drying effect—hence the bloody nose. And the dried out tear ducts which leads to watering eyes but we’ll talk about that later. (There are more needles involved and I think we have enough gross stuff for today.)

So here we are going about our daily business in Chemo Canyon alternately discussing sterilizing the door knobs, when The Bachelor is on next and adding tissues, toilet paper and Preparation H to the shopping list. This is Reason #597 we want to punch the next person who says, “It’s only hair. It will grow back!” As if that’s the sole side effect of Chemo.

Shortly before lunch I blow my nose.


Like my ChemoBrain By Proxy after Round One, I now have Nose Bleeds by Proxy. I take a picture and send it to my husband. I’m not sure why—solidarity? Guilt for being gone so much (hey look it’s not all walks on the beach and froyo out here!)? To prove I’m not going crazy and imagining things? It doesn’t matter. All that matters is CC.

And remembering where I left that shopping list.

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